Liverpool have signed a new centre forward from Kabul United FC. Apparently on his first day at training, Houllier picked up a ball and said: "Ball." Then he pointed at the goal and said: "Goal." Then he demonstrated a kicking motion and said: "Kick. Understand? Kick, ball, goal. GOOOOOOAAAAALLLLLL!" The Afghan striker was a little puzzled by this and summoned up the courage to say "Excuse me, Mr. Houllier, but I speak very good English." To which Houllier replies:"Sit down, son. I'm talking to Heskey!"